Two Weeks ago’s Weight: 232.6
Last week’s weight: 230.8
This Week’s Weight: 229.6
Loss of 1.8 lbs from two weeks ago to last week, 1.2 lbs from last week to this week, 3 lbs total, average 1.5 lbs/week
So, this isn’t bad. My goal from a few Mondays ago is to lose roughly 2 lbs a week – If I can do this, by our next wedding anniversary (and baby makin time hubba hubba), I should be down to 140-ish lbs. I’m on track for now!
My energy levels are still in the pits, but I haven’t been sleeping well at all. Friday night the 27th, Jakedog went careening down the stairs and smashed into the glass panel next to the door. He cut his head pretty badly, and we had to do some quick work to fix him. Dr Clark said we’d be fine with liquid bandage and a cone, so we literally glued Jake back together, and then slapped the cone on him. Tyler did most of it while I tried my best not to sob and/or hyperventilate. I felt like a total stooge, but I love my dogs, so whatever. Don’t judge me.
I also had my Mom staying with us from Thursday the 26th to Sunday the 29th. She was originally petitioning to go home on Friday, until Jake had his accident, and then retreated to the guest room to hide. I’m not going into specifics as I don’t like sharing details about my relationship with my mom, but I will say that it weighs heavily on me. After I dropped her off I went directly to Del Taco and got a burrito, soft taco, and nacho combo with a large cherry coke and had it finished by the time I got home (40 minute drive). I didn’t even feel guilty that time… though I did feel guilty (and sick) from the pint of Dove Peanutbutter Chocolate icecream I inhaled when I got home. Sigh. Emotional eating is so hard for me to avoid at this point. I can logically realize how bad it is for me and how physically and emotionally crappy it makes me feel, but this time I weighed it out, and the food won. I promptly ended up with the most horrific UTI that I’ve ever had, so… I think my body was trying to tell me something. We haven’t eaten fast food or meat at all for two weeks now, and I’m really noticing a change.
I’ve got 15 days til surgery. It’s still pretty surreal, but I’m trying to prepare myself now. Another thing I spent the last two weekends doing was cutting fabric – I think I ended up with 4 baby swaddles and a couple of dozen of those tactile baby square things. I just have to sew it all… but it’s going to be in my sewing room ready for me as a distraction if head hunger tries to get the best of me after surgery.
I’m starting my liquid diet today. So far, so good. I ate kinda crappy all weekend, but was already amazed at how little I was able to eat. I bought stuff planning to eat it all Friday night and pig out, but it took me literally all weekend to eat it. We made a bitchin vegan chili that I ate on all weekend, too – it was high in protein and fiber, so I’m pretty sure that’s why I couldn’t choke down my soft pretzels to save my life. I’m pretty confident about this. My nutritionist is awesome and hilarious, and the lady who will be doing my fills (she’s an RN) is really really sweet and very calm. Just the kind of person I’d want to come at me with a needle, hah. It was kind of awkward and I almost cried though, because she actually read my file, and read my psych eval. She said she thought I’d done great and selfless things with my family and taking care of my brother, and that she was there to help me do something good for myself. It was really touching. They’re both dog lovers too. It was so weird though, because they kept saying that I was one of their smallest and youngest patients… I got the youngest part, but it was hard not to protest the “smallest” part, since I see myself as so huge and grotesque. When you compare me to 900+ pound people though, I guess I’m pretty small. The neat thing is they have a closet where people can bring in their clothes that don’t fit them anymore – and Megan (the RN) says “I don’t think we have anything small enough for you even now though!” So I plan on taking some of my clothes in once I shrink so that there’s small cute clothes for others in transition. I’m so ready for this, I’m so excited! Only 15 days! Holy hell!
As for the followup diet once I’m back on solid food, I think we’re good to go. Tyler is still on this new kick where he wants to be “vegetarian.” We’re going for lacto/ovo vegetarian, which won’t be so hard to do. I’ve been consuming so much protein in the form of chicken and steak that I’m sick of it. We’ve tried Gardenburgers , and they’re surprisingly palatable. I bought two different kinds, the portabella and then the original gardenburger, and we were surprised to find that the portabella ones taste much better. The original gardenburger is rather mushroom-y tasting, which isn’t one of our favorites. We’ve tried them with feta, spinach and onions, white gravy, and A-1. I’ve also found and made recipes for portabella, oat, and black bean burgers and tofu burgers, and they’ve been super good, too.
I packaged up all of the meat products that we had in our freezer and took it to my Dad’s house today. Scared the bejeezus out of his dog Dozer (a 240 lb Mastiff), but I gave him some bones to make up for it. Our freezer is surprisingly bare, but we plan on filling it back up with portioned supplies of chili, veggie burgers, frozen veggies, and other meatless alternatives. We’re also toying with Bob’s Red Mill textured vegetable protein. It’s made out of defatted soy, so we’ll use it sparingly (not huge soy fans in our house), but it’s not that bad. It’s a good source of protein, and melds well with foods. However, I think that portabella mushrooms will be my blender of choice.
Anyways, that's all I've got for now. It's enough of a meandering post anyways, as it's a combo of two posts (last week's that never made it to publishing and this week's).
Hope all is well with everyone else - keep on keepin on...
