I actually wrote this yesterday, but didn't have time to post! For shame on me, right? Cross posted on Life Changes to Increase Our Health. ETA - I weighed myself this morning, and it was 222.6 lbs! Only 77.6 lbs to go ;)
What are your biggest roadblocks to becoming healthy? When I say healthy – I mean a place where you feel fit, energetic, strong, and happy – not necessarily just a number on the scale. When I was around 160 lbs, I still felt healthy, even though I was told it was about 10-30 lbs over my appropriate weight. I was muscular, had a little bit of roundness to me – definitely had curves, but was only just starting to develop a muffin top. I could run or jog for moderate distances without being out of breath – now, I can’t even walk up my stairs without losing my breath. At a slow pace, even. That is how I define my lack of health. Combined with constant aches and pains in my back, shoulders, knees, and feet, and fatigue. While the fatigue may be an issue all it’s own, I still think that how I’ve been living lately is not positively affecting it.
So, I think it might be helpful to list some of the roadblocks we face, and then a possible solution. It might be helpful to see suggestions between the both of us (cuz Kristi, nobody else has taken the bait, damnit), and see if we can utilize them to better our health.
Here I go – some of my roadblocks, off of the top of my head, in no particular order:
• Energy – to exercise, to wake up early to make lunches or even spend a few minutes in the afternoons making food for the next day can sometimes wipe me out
• Convenience – it’s way easier to just order a lunch from the cafeteria down the way as opposed to bringing a lunch. It also has me eating lots of processed foods at home
• Depression – I know this may not make sense, but it affects me a lot. I’m an emotional eater, and when I find myself getting discouraged, I get depressed and figure eff it, and then eat to comfort myself
• The feeling of restriction – I’m a stubborn one, and I hate to be told I can’t have something… especially if I’m telling myself that I can’t have something. I almost want to just be uber defiant (and I usually end up being this way), and just eat what I shouldn’t have. Then, I get discouraged, then depressed, and it all starts over again.
• Negative self talk – whether it’s “you’re so fat or disgusting,” or “you can’t do this, you suck,” or any variance – it all leads me to depression, which fuels the negative self talk, and so on and so forth. I have this fear that my excessively hot husband will realize what a fat disgusting blob I am, and that’s usually where that stuff comes from.
So – those are a few just off of the top of my head, that only I can affect. For example - Tyler can reassure me til he passes out that he thinks I’m beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, sexy, etc etc etc (and he does, since he’s amazing), but until I can learn to take those compliments, they do me no good. Only I can choose to set aside time in the morning or evening to make a quick but healthy lunch. Only I can choose to exercise – whether or not I’m tired. FYI – I was falling over exhausted last night but still made myself do 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was pure torture, but some of the best sleep that I’ve had in a loooong while, and I actually woke up with some energy today.
So, here are some possible small solutions that I can implement:
• Energy – I will work on my sleep schedule, going to bed no later than 9:30 pm, and waking up no earlier than 4:30 am, for a solid 7 hours of sleep. I will take vitamins and eat adequate and healthy amounts of proteins and carbs to help as well.
• Convenience - I will pre-plan quick, easy, healthy, point friendly meals, and have no reason not to make them. I will stock healthy food options that I can whip these healthy meals up with, and get into a routine of preparation.
• Depression - I'll actually take my damned antidepressants. Right now, I'm training myself to do so by taking it in the morning with a glass of Kefir - also a good start to the day.
• Restriction - I'll let myself splurge on occasion, especially while I'm making the food transition. It's not bad to eat yummy, bad for me stuff, it's just bad when that's the only thing that I eat.
• Negative Self Talk - I'll try to redirect this - I'll focus on the goals that I have met, and the fact that I'm doing this in the first place. Babysteps, Bob, babysteps.
The parts of this that I know I'll have trouble with the most are the depression and negative self talk. I don't have a high opinion of myself anyways, which I'm willing to delve into if anyone feels like being totally horrified, lol, but on a more private level - skinny lattes anyone? But, I think everything else is still doable. I really think I just need to keep reminding myself that this is a process, and requires dedication and change, and will be wholly frustrating the entire time - but worth it. I don't care if I"m curvy, have fat, bulges, etc, I just want to feel healthy - physically and emotionally.
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